Love is probably the best feeling in the world. It makes you feel warm inside, and that one person is like the sun of your universe. It’s amazing until you lose it. Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings anyone will go through. It feels like someone reached into your chest and snatched out your heart, leaving a gaping hole in its place.
I fell in love with this guy named Carlos (not his real name.) We were together for five years, and I thought he would be the guy I marry. Forever didn’t last and we broke up about two months ago. I want to share how I managed to get over a 5-year relationship so soon.
Closure is necessary for both parties when it comes to the end of a relationship. Carlos and I broke up two weeks before I got the closure I needed. When we first broke up, I was mad and angry. I felt betrayed (no he did not cheat), but there was a lot to the story that I didn’t know. Over the course of a week, I started to see more explicit, and I ended up contacting him. We talked, and I gave him the chance to fix his mistakes, but at the end of the day he decided that he didn’t deserve any more chances from me and let me go. Of course, I was hurt, but the fact that I did everything in my power to save my relationship gave me closure and helped me move on.
Acceptance ties in with closure. When I got my closure, it was easier for me to accept that the relationship was over and that we would never get back together. Some people get stuck here. They refuse to admit that the relationship is over so they can’t move on. They hold out for the other person in hopes that they can rekindle what they had. It’s a lovely thought to think Carlos, and I would get back together, but I couldn’t keep that hope alive. I was looking for the one and didn’t have time to spend any more of my life on him.
It’s okay to cry. If someone tells you otherwise, then they need to suck a cucumber. Complaining can be a way of release.
I was depressed, and I knew it was okay to feel this way. It was okay to go through what I was going through so when I wanted to cry; I let the tears out. I didn’t hold them back. I remember I cried all day after I got my closure. I cried for hours, and I felt like I had this gigantic hole in my chest. I could barely breathe as I I cried over the end of my relationship.
I cried until I felt numb. That was the worst episode I had, but I needed it, and I don’t regret it. I grew numb and moved on towards the healing process.
The scariest thing about a break up is not knowing anything about your future. For so long, I pictured Carlos and I getting married, then having kids. We had out futures planned out and now that had gone up in flames. My future was unclear. I could no longer picture the guy I would marry. It’s scary because you’ll start to wonder if you’ll find the one or end up alone.
I had to remind myself that I would find my “one.” I knew that I was a great person and that I was an awesome girlfriend. If Carlos wanted to waste a good thing, then that’s on him. It’s not on me. I know my worth, so I wasn’t worried about being alone or finding the next person.
Distractions helped me get through the day. After we broke up, I rewatched jersey shore which took my mind off things. I even started playing Stardew Valley so that I could have an addicting game to play.
I quickly found myself not missing Carlos. It was soon after I break up that I started school again and I started talking to someone else. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I refuse to do casual hookups, but getting back into the dating scene did help me get over Carlos even quicker. I don’t suggest jumping back in unless you’re ready and are stable to be in another relationship.
In conclusion, not everyone can move on as quickly as I did. Two months after our breakup, Carlos and I talk and text each other like old time friends. I even started talking to someone else. What worked for me, may not work for you, but it’s important to remember above all else that heartbreak is temporary and that you will get over it someday.